To Gel and Back:
Men's Shower Gels
Itís shower time kids and I'm checking out a variety of shower
gels for men this time. I think the biggest obstacle to shower
gels for men has got to be the puff/pouf. Few men will actually
admit to using a product with a sissified name like pouf.
might as well have named it the "Wimpy Pansy Scrubber For The
Delicate Woman In Your So-Called Man Scrubby Puff." Most
men will pretend that they donít know the itemís real name and
will opt to call it a "scrub - mumble - shower - ball - thing
- mutter - something - my - wife - mumble - Say - How- 'Bout -
Them - Buckeyes?"
I am sure that many men are closet pouf
users! The worst part is the misconception that the pouf is a
sissy item while, in truth, it functions like manly sandpaper
for the shower. Rename it something potent and powerful
like "SkinLord the Gritmaster
or "Skinbane the Razor Skrubber
Of Doom" and the shower gel for men market will explode!
Ah well, what do I know anyway? I thought CrŤme de la Mer
was a location on the Moon!
Gel Of A Product
Zirh Shower Gel
Gels Like Teen Spirit
No, We Wonít Go!
E-mail, She-mail, Whatís The Difference?
(if you donít know, donít send me anything!)
I thought I would end this column by answering some of my e-mail
because I actually got some! Believe me, I am more surprised
about this than you.
I mean, my claim to fame is that I
occasionally bathe. I admit that I do rather selflessly risk my
skin to save yours, making me a superhero of sorts, but fan mail
is not something I expected. I
actually received something like a billion e-mailsÖor a
hundredÖeither way, it was a lot!
I slogged through plenty of standard junk e-mail and, aside from the adult entertainment
offers and financial help, I seem to recall an offer for a device that
can spread a ribbon of peanut butter the entire length of a
football field! People donít shove hundreds of feet of bread at
me on a regular basis, but I think Iím getting one of these things anyway.
Imagine me with a grandchild on my knee
saying, "Why, when I was a child and I had to butter a three
hundred foot loaf of bread, I had to do it by hand! And it
was hard work! And people got hurt doing it! And it was uphill
both ways!" Hee, hee!
Anyway, once my e-mail was properly filtered, it turns out that
I had sixteen (16) genuine e-mails from sixteen genuine people.
I will summarize their thoughts:
#1: Dear LatherLad, I donít care what you say, I like <product> and you are a big stupidhead!
#2: Dear LatherLad, I donít care what you say, I hate <product> and you are a big stupidhead!
#3: Dear LatherLad, you are a big stupidhead, I hate you, and I wish ear infections on you!
The only replies I could offer to these scathing and well-articulated critiques were:
#1: Am not!
#2: No, you are!
#3: Mom, stop writing me at work!
Ah well, remember, if youíre safely behind bars, in a mental
institution, or securely strapped to a hospital bed, I
want to hear from youÖagain! Stay clean!