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Watch Where You're Putting Those Hands, Mister!
Heavy Duty HandGear
By Daryn Guarino

I grabbed the tube of Heavy Duty HandGear (3.5oz for $15), a hand cream with antioxidants, and squirted some onto my hands. As I rubbed it in, the unmistakable scent of a popular waterless hand cleaning product named Goop flooded the room.

Heavy Duty HandGear Hand CreamA bubblegum and dirty oil scent that took me back to my Grandfather's garage until I remembered that, unlike Goop, this was a hand CREAM, not a hand CLEANER. This powerful smell was designed to stay!

My hands were giving off an aggressive and downright invasive scent of the type that makes people wake up angry from a deep sleep. If HandGear offered any beneficial properties, I didn't notice.

The ingredient list read like a medicine cabinet, so I could think of no natural way to counteract the potent stink. I fought the smell with everything I had on hand, from lemon juice to Lysol, but I never beat it.

The smell is gone now, but some people say that if you stand in the bathroom on nights when the moon is just right, you can still catch the faintest whiff of it out of the corner of your nose. I would recommend this product as a gift for an enemy or a noseless friend.


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