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The Suds Report Newsletter
June 2002



Hello All:

I think summer is finally here: my kids are out of preschool, I've started drinking Frappucinos again and we've been to the pool three times already. My mantra this summer is "Sunscreen: apply early and often!" I slather it on myself and my daughters, and urge my husband to use it too.

I'm excited about changing my routine to include lighter, fresher warm weather scents; citrus sounds particularly appealing right about now, lavender is always refreshing, maybe some herbal scents...


New at SudsReport.com

We've added two new articles this month, both from the tireless Melissa Miller. First, read about several innovative smaller online merchants in Oh, Yes! Wait a Minute Mr. Postman (Part I). Companies profiled include A Zaftig Woman, Simply Scents, Natural Esscents, MMU Cosmetiques and Prairieland Herbs. Then, just in the nick of time, get ideas for summer stockpiling in Hot Fun in the Summertime.



And the Winner Is


Congratulations to our May giveaway winner: Tiffany B. from Seattle, Washington. Tiffany won an assortment of goodies from Perlier's Kiwi Energy line.

For June, we're giving away a travel set from Circle-of-Friends.com, a fun line of bath and hair care products for children. Just in time for summer vacation!



Suds for Dads


Father's Day is June 16. Instead of another tie (does anyone still do that?), think bath / body / skincare for Dad this year. One thing's pretty certain; you'll be getting him something he wouldn't normally buy for himself. Here are a couple suggestions:


• Anthony Logistics is a line of high quality, straightforward men's products, hip without being intimidating...you really can't go wrong with these. Look under "gifts" or "kits" at Anthony.com for some good options.

• Zirh.com, another upscale men's line, has a high-tech, somewhat more youthful feel to it. They offer a choice of kits that could make great gifts.

• For the Dad who has everything: Does he have a gold-plated razor? Find a selection of these and other cutting edge (sorry) shaving products at eShave.com.


Bath-le of the Sexes:


Ready for a different kind of "bathroom humor?"  It's a little gross, but Oh-So-True!


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
• Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
• Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Stick out your gut so you can complain even more about how you're getting fat.
• Get in the shower. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
• Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
• Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
• Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner, enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
• Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes, until red.
• Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
• Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure it has all come off).
• Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
• Scream loudly when your husband/boyfriend flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
• Turn off shower.
• Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
• Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
• Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit/ingrown hair. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
• Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see your husband/boyfriend along the way, cover any exposed areas, then proceed to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
 

• Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife/girlfriend along the way, make a "woo-woo" sound.
• Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No)
• Scratch butt.
• Get in shower.
• Don't bother to look for a washcloth...You don't use one.
• Wash your face.
• Wash your armpits.
• Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
• Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.
• Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
• Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
• Peek out of shower curtain to look at your Mohawk in the mirror.
• Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. Partially dry off.
• Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles.
• Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
• Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife/girlfriend, make the "woo-woo" sound again.
• Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed.



Fun Factoid: "Triple-Milled" Defined


Companies frequently boast that their bar soaps are "triple-milled." Here's what that means: Milling involves putting soap through metal rollers and shredding it, then pressing it back together in a high-pressure press to form bars.

Milling helps to distribute the color and fragrance evenly throughout the soap, makes the texture smoother and makes the final bar of soap harder and longer-lasting. "Triple milled" will have been rolled three times before being formed into bars.

Now you know!


In the Works

Coming up soon: an article reviewing foot care products that may help you save some money on pedicures this season, the second in our series profiling small online beauty merchants and an article on dessert-themed products. Also in the works: tea-scented products, handmade soaps and more!

Well, that’s about it for now. As always, please e-mail us with any comments or suggestions.



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