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The Suds Report Newsletter
June 2002
Hello All:
I
think summer is finally here: my kids are out of preschool,
I've started drinking Frappucinos again and we've been to the
pool three times already. My mantra this
summer is "Sunscreen: apply early and often!" I
slather it on myself and my daughters, and urge my husband to
use it too.
I'm excited about changing my routine to include lighter,
fresher warm weather scents; citrus sounds particularly
appealing right about now, lavender is always refreshing,
maybe some herbal scents...
New at
SudsReport.com
We've added two new articles this month, both from the
tireless Melissa Miller. First, read about several
innovative smaller online merchants in
Oh, Yes! Wait a
Minute Mr. Postman (Part I). Companies profiled
include A Zaftig Woman, Simply Scents,
Natural Esscents, MMU Cosmetiques
and Prairieland Herbs. Then, just in the nick of time,
get ideas for summer stockpiling in
Hot Fun in the
Summertime.
And the
Winner Is
Congratulations to our May giveaway winner: Tiffany B.
from Seattle, Washington. Tiffany won an assortment of
goodies from
Perlier's
Kiwi Energy line.
For
June, we're giving away a travel set from
Circle-of-Friends.com, a fun line of bath and hair care
products for children. Just in time for summer vacation!
Suds for Dads
Father's Day is June 16. Instead of another tie (does
anyone still do that?), think bath / body / skincare for Dad this
year. One thing's pretty certain; you'll be getting
him something he wouldn't normally buy for himself. Here
are a couple suggestions:
Anthony
Logistics is a line of high quality, straightforward men's
products, hip without being intimidating...you really can't go
wrong with these. Look under "gifts" or "kits"
at Anthony.com for some
good options.
Zirh.com,
another upscale men's line, has a high-tech, somewhat more
youthful feel to it. They offer a choice of kits that
could make great gifts.
For the Dad who has everything: Does he have a
gold-plated razor? Find a selection of these and other
cutting edge (sorry) shaving products at
eShave.com.
Bath-le
of the Sexes:
Ready for a different kind of "bathroom humor?" It's a
little gross, but Oh-So-True!
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry
hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you
see your husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed
flesh and rush to the bathroom.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror. Stick out
your gut so you can complain even more about how you're
getting fat.
Get in the shower. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43
added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner,
enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten
minutes, until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa
Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least
fifteen minutes as you must make sure it
has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving
bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
Scream loudly when your husband/boyfriend flushes the toilet and
you lose the water pressure.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size
of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit/ingrown
hair. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head. If you see your husband/boyfriend along the way,
cover any exposed areas, then proceed to bedroom to spend an hour and a
half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife/girlfriend along
the way, make a "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in
your gut to see if you have pecs. (No)
Scratch butt.
Get in shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth...You don't use
one.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just
rinse it off.
Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and
surrounding area.
Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner. Make a
shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at your Mohawk in the
mirror.
Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice
water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of
the tub the whole time. Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex muscles.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the
floor. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If
you pass your wife/girlfriend, make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get
dressed.
Fun
Factoid: "Triple-Milled" Defined
Companies frequently boast that their bar soaps are
"triple-milled." Here's what that means: Milling involves putting soap through metal
rollers and shredding it, then pressing it back together in a
high-pressure press to form bars.
Milling helps to distribute
the color and fragrance evenly throughout the soap, makes the
texture smoother and makes the final bar of soap harder and
longer-lasting. "Triple milled" will
have been rolled three times before being formed into bars.
Now you know!
In the
Works
Coming up soon: an article reviewing
foot care
products that may help you save some money on pedicures this
season, the second in our series profiling
small online beauty
merchants and an article on
dessert-themed products. Also in the works:
tea-scented products,
handmade soaps and more!
Well, thats about it for now. As always, please e-mail us with
any comments or suggestions.
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